It is with great joy and sorrow that I announce my decision to pursue God’s will for me outside of the priesthood. This was probably the hardest decision I have ever made for many reasons, but, primarily, because while is seminary, I was so very happy and for so long I believed that it was God’s will that I be a priest. After much prayer, discernment, and wrestling, I have come to rest in the peace of Christ. If the Lord called me to seminary and I was happy, then it follows that if he asks me to leave, I will be the just as happy. The Lord never said following him would be easy, but he did say if we followed him, he would be with us always.

One of the happiest days in my life, to this point, is still the day I found out I was accepted to study for the Diocese of Sioux City, Iowa, at St John Vianney Seminary in St Paul, Minnesota. I was very happy to join seminary because I desired to be a disciple of the Lord. In my visit to the seminary, my fears disappeared. I realized that the men in the seminary were not odd or unusual in any way, but in reality they were happy and joyful to be following the Lord. When I arrived in seminary, I was blown away by the true brotherhood and fraternity that existed there. My brothers were some of the best formators, helping me to become a man of God, well- rounded and rooted in reality. My brothers encouraged me to grow ever deeper in virtue and called me out when I was not following God.

In the seminary I learned how to pray and exist in the silence of the Lord’s presence. As I have said before, silence is the greatest gift to the, ever busy, modern world. When we are quiet, we begin to hear those around us, as well as the voice of God. In the silence God speaks. In the silence we encounter God. When we are silent we can begin to grow and conform to Christ and put on our baptismal garment, that of rebirth in Christ. My growth toward Christ has been great over my years in formation; yet, I realize that I have a very long way to go in order to be a saint.

In leaving seminary, I realize that I will be separated from some of the best men that I have ever met. The men I met in Denver called me to holiness, often times not by their expressed word but by their actions and their radical witness to Christ. These men all shared the same dreams and aspirations. When you have a group of people who are like-minded, it is easy to develop a relationship. When you add Christ into that mix, the relationship becomes solid and rock hard. My hope is to keep in contact with many of these men; I know the relationship will change, if only because a great distance will separate us.

I was once told that a good seminary has many men joining and many leaving. I have found this to be true. A good seminary brings men in as boys, immature spiritually and emotionally; however, when they leave they are formed in manhood (Men in Christ, Men of the Church, Men for Others). This is hopefully true for those men leaving seminary to pursue the lay vocation as it is for those men leaving as ordained Priests of the Catholic Church. I know I leave the seminary a changed man because I have been formed and molded in Christ. As I leave, I pray that people do not say, “What a waste. He would have been such a good priest.” The fact of the matter is that the future is unknown, I may have made a great priest and I still may make a great priest. The fact of the matter is the Church needs good and holy fathers to protect the family. I believe that seminary has helped me here as well. Even if I was only in seminary for one day I would have been a better man for the experience.

We all have many dreams and aspirations, but these mean nothing if they are not rooted in Christ. I have dreamed of priesthood for many years, but if these dreams are not rooted in Christ then they are futile. After dreaming of something for an extended time, it is easy for motives to be squad and vision and goals can become small-minded. There is no true joy or freedom in being small-minded. Having ones dreams and aspirations rooted in Christ makes one magnanimous and great. It is for this reason that I leave seminary; I desire always to be rooted in Christ and to be magnanimous as a Man in Christ and a Man for Others.

Men in Christ Men of the Church and Men for Others,

In Christ,

Aaron Pohlen

                On Sunday, Divine Mercy Sunday, we heard the Gospel story about Doubting Thomas, who had to see Jesus' nail wounds before he would believe. Then on Monday we celebrated the Annunciation, and Luke's Gospel tells us about Gabriel's announcement to Mary that she would conceive Jesus by the Holy Spirit.

                I was struck by the differences between Mary and Thomas. Mary heard God's vocational calling for her. She responded with a complete yes to God, saying, "I am the handmaid of the Lord. Let it be done to me according to thy word." As I reflected on this passage, I was somewhat disappointed in myself for the times I can think of when I didn't respond with a complete yes to what God was asking of me.

                As I continued to reflect, I realized that I could identify more with Thomas. He was told the Lord had risen, but he couldn't believe until he felt those wounds. Thomas, however, was honest with the Lord. He told the Lord he couldn't believe, and said what the Lord would need to give him for him to believe-the ability to feel those wounds. The Lord didn't ridicule the Thomas, but gave him exactly what he needed so that he could believe.

                This is Divine Mercy: When the Lord knows our weaknesses, failings, and shortcomings and gives us exactly what we need so that we can have faith in him. Mary is the only one of us who is without sin, and she was able to give a complete "yes" to God's will for her in her life. We, like Thomas, are sinners, and it is the Lord's Divine Mercy that fills what is lacking in our "yes" to God's will because of our unbelief.

                I believe this time of year is particularly important for those discerning their vocation because it is a time of transition. The school year is ending. It is a time to decide what the future will bring. It is a time to say goodbye to friends. For seminarians, it means the beginning of new, challenging summer assignments that one may be or may not be excited about.  It is also a time to say goodbye, as seminarians will leave to continue studies at new places, or to leave seminary formation altogether.

                As challenging as transitions can be, this is a good time to intercede to God and ask for his Divine Mercy so that, like Thomas, Christ may give us exactly what we need to meet these challenges head on. And with that mercy, we can make a complete yes to God's will for us as Mary did and, like Mary, bring Christ to all we meet.

 Peace,

Michael

In the past few weeks, as I looked back over some of the notes I have taken throughout the pontificate of Benedict XVI, there was one homily that stood out. This homily helped in my continued growth as a seminarian and in my desire to serve God as a priest. The homily was given by Benedict on the occasion of the dedication of the altar at the Cathedral in Sydney. In attendance at the mass were seminarians and young religious. The pope tied the idea of the altar of sacrifice to the altar of the cross upon which Christ hung, the altar upon which all sacrifice to God is offered. As seminarians and religious we are to lay down our lives to Christ and with Christ. It is upon this table of sacrifice that we are to lay our vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience.

One of most striking lines that he said during the mass was, “In today’s liturgy the Church reminds us that, like this altar, we too have been consecrated, set “apart” for the service of God and the building up of his Kingdom. All too often, however, we find ourselves immersed in a world that would set God “aside”.” While I have not formally been consecrated to anything he reminded me that I am supposed to live a life separated from that of the world. The life we are supposed to live as Catholics, Christians, and as men thinking about the priesthood is a life that is set apart from that of the world and the idea that it holds. When we are so immersed in a culture that does not hold to a Christian moral and does not embrace Christ, it can be a great challenge to endure this separation from our peers and the culture. It is here that we can be tempted to water down the faith to mere sediment and emotion but when we realize that we are not walking alone, rather, with Christ as he carries the cross to Calvary we can say, “Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him, knowing that Christ, having been raised from the dead, is never to die again; death no longer is master over Him.” (Romans 6:8-9) We do not die for ourselves or for any other reason than for Christ and the glory of the kingdom. This gives me great hope because I can then say with the saints “all for the greater glory of God” and, “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.” (Galatians 2:20)

God willing, as a priest one day in the not so distant future, I will be uniting myself in a deeper and more perfect way to Christ“ in Persona Christi Captits” in the Person of Christ the Head, offering myself with Christ on the altar. As Christ was the altar, victim, and priest, just as the priest is every time he celebrates Mass. In order to do this, every priest must die daily to self so that at the altar of sacrifice he may join himself to Christ and say, “Pray, brethren, that my sacrifice and yours may be acceptable to God the Father Almighty.” It is in this act that the priest becomes most perfectly one with Christ. It is here that earth and heaven meet and the two become one in the greatest mystery of all. The unworthy sinner, the priest, encounters and even becomes Christ the Head.

Thank you, Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI of your years of faithful service to the Church and for proclaiming the Gospel in and out of season.

Men in Christ, Men of the Church, Men for Others

Aaron Pohlen

For several reasons, this year I have had to take a step back and look at discernment in a different light. To discern God's will requires more detachment than I had once thought. In order to discern God's will for us, we must put aside all ideas of what we may want, and perhaps even more importantly, what we want God to want. If we are not careful, we can transpose our own desires for self onto God. Suddenly, we believe God wants us to be a surgeon, when in reality it is our own desires playing interference with God. If we approach discernment with an open and willing heart, we can step back away from our notions of God's will and into the light of clarity. One of the best ways I have found to become detached from my own desire is through prayer. There are many great prayers to help with detachment. One such prayer is the Litany of Humility, or the Prayer for Abandonment, by Saint Charles de Foucauld. I have found myself praying a prayer written by Thomas Merton also entitled, Prayer for Abandonment.  I really like this prayer because it talks about why we really do not know the will of God and the path he has laid out before us.  The prayer also gets to the point that, even though we many think we are following God's will, we may not be doing so.

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.

I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you and I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing.

And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road although I may know nothing about it.

Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death, I will not fear, for you are ever with me and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

May God bless you all in your true discernment.

Men in Christ, Men of the Church, Men for Others

Aaron Pohlen

Merry Christmas and Seasons Greetings,

I pray that your family is doing well and everyone is healthy. This year has brought many unexpected blessings. This spring I finished my first year of graduate seminary. I was so grateful to be studying theology. At the time it seemed so much more practical to be studying scripture, and the sacraments than philosophy. In parish life I have seen a need for both.

The first part of the summer I spent studying in Rome. I traveled to Europe with seventeen other seminarians from around the country. Even more than studying, the trip to Europe was a pilgrimage of prayer and an encounter with God the Father and the Saints. I started the experience in France. France was beautiful with many quaint little towns. The best of which was Ars, home of St John Vianney, patron saint of priests. I spent 8 days in Ars on retreat. Everyday I prayed in the Church where Saint Vianney preached, prayed, and heard Confessions. I even had the opportunity to pray in front of his incorrupt body. Incorrupt means that by the grace of God, and his Sanctity while on earth, his body appears today as he did on the day he died over a hundred and fifty years ago.

I then went to Rome and studied art, Church history, and the Second Vatican Counsel. After studying art with so much of it around me, I have taken a much greater appreciation for art and architecture. I also realized that good art and architecture goes a long way in helping us enter into worship and helps us to understand the unseen mysteries of the faith.

My parents joined me after my time of study for a week of traveling around Europe. We traveled to Cinque Terre, Assisi and to Rome. The Cinque Terre's are small fishing towns along the northern coast of Italy. Assisi is a small hill town in central Italy and home of St Francis. My parents were blown away by the number of churches in Italy and there size and beauty.

Later in the summer, I was asked to take a pastoral year. The pastoral year was supposed to give me a break from school and an opportunity to be in a parish. I was able to help Dad with harvest while I waited to find out were I would be stationed. I had a lot of fun helping, but I spent many long days in the tractor. Spending time with my family was a great and unforeseen blessing.

In late October I was assigned to Saint Mary’s in Spirit Lake, Iowa. I have enjoyed my time shadowing Fr Brain Hughes. He has a great love for the priesthood and hence shows great joy in service to God and his flock. I have helped with many and varying tasks around the parish such as office work, helping with CCD, youth group, and pastoral work such as visiting the sick.

May God bless you in the coming year.

In Christ,

Aaron Pohlen

Pictures

Top: after mass at the Polish Crypt Chapel under the Vatican

Bottom: after mass in the Catacombs of St. Callixtus, Rome